Panzer Paladin Review (PC)

Game: Panzer Paladin
Genre: 2D, Platformer, Action, Adventure
System: PC (also on Nintendo Switch)
Developer|Publisher: Tribute Games
Age Rating: EU 7+ | US Everyone
Price (Switch): UK £16.00 | EU €18,00 | AUD $27.00 | USD $19.99| CAD $ n.a.
Release Date: 21^st July 2020

Review code provided with many thanks to Tribute Games

Shiro Would Be Proud

I mentioned in a previous review that I was a He-Man and Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles kid back in the day. However, I neglected to mention one of my all-time favourite childhood cartoons: Voltron. This show rocked. Big monsters? Check. Giant robot mechs that combine to form a bigger mech called Voltron? Check. Some of the cheesiest lines in a cartoon ever? Double check! I loved this show; it may have even been my entry point into the sci-fi genre as a whole. To my delight, this show was rebooted on Netflix not too long ago and was actually pretty decent. I hear you asking: what the heck does this have to do with today’s review? Well, there’s an episode from the new Voltron series called “Monsters & Mana”. In this episode, the crew takes a break from saving the universe to play a Dungeons & Dragons-style tabletop game. One of the characters, Shiro, is insistent on playing as a Paladin, which coincidentally is what he already is. Despite several other character options being available, he comes out with the classic line “I want to be a paladin..” and there you have me on the floor in laughter.

In the crazy world that is my brain, I imagine Tribute Games also saw this episode and thought to themselves: let’s make a game for James. And behold, Panzer Paladin was born. After a lot of rambling, let’s jump into this terrific title where yes, you get to play as a paladin. Shiro would be happy.

Take on the Demons

Panzer Paladin follows a blue-haired android called Flame and her giant mech called Paladin. The plot feels like a Voltron episode: demons are falling from the sky, and it’s up to you to take them down and save the day. At least for another Saturday. It’s sci-fi meets demons, which is A-okay in my book. After playing the first level, which gets you up to speed on the game’s controls, you get to choose your next location from several world destinations (including Scotland! I can’t remember the last video game I played that showed love for Scotland). Each destination has a boss which is based around that country’s mythology or folklore, subjects I’m quite a fan of. Russia has Baba Yaga, Egypt has Anubis, and Greece has Medusa.

Retro in all the Right Ways

The game feels like an old NES game with its 8-bit style graphics and fantastic retro soundtrack. (Hey Tribute, please release this soundtrack, I want to buy it.) You’ll play the majority of the game in your giant mech suit. You move a little slow and clunky as you might expect, but the levels are designed appropriately to accommodate this. Yes, this retro-inspired game does have death-defying pits and the usual hardships like difficult bosses. This rarely bothered me though, probably because the soundtrack is so awesome and the game seemed to get the retro feel just right.

Spoiled for Weapons 

There’s an extraordinary amount of weapons to wield: various hammers, swords, spears, and lollipops, because why not, right? If that’s not enough, the game has a Blacksmith mode which allows you to make your own weapons. So of course, I made a LadiesGamers sword, which may possibly be shared with other players online. The weapons are satisfying to use and degrade with use so you can’t rely on them forever. You can also destroy them to activate a special power, like increasing your attack strength or healing you. You can also sacrifice a weapon to activate checkpoints, turning the game into a juggling act of what you hold on to and what you sacrifice. If you lose all your weapons you can always rely on your fists, but you’ll probably find the boss fights a bit tough.

Jump out for a Walk

If your mech’s health depletes or if you choose to, you can jump out the mech and take on the fight on foot. Flame has a handy whip-like weapon which might tickle some folks’ Castlevania funny bone. She can swing from rings and reach small places. She is much more fragile than when in the safety of the mech suit, but it’s fun to jump out and look for secrets. It’s also very satisfying when your mech has lost all its health and you scrape through a boss battle, just with Flame’s whip.

Plenty to Come Back to

Panzer Paladin has seventeen levels, all of which are a nice size. There’s a lot to keep you busy in the story mode alone. Once you’re done, you can dive into remix mode, speed run the campaign, or spend a ridiculous amount of hours designing weapons in blacksmith mode. The weapons made by you and others are then dropped by a horseman character during levels in the game. Should you not want to risk being stuck with what other users create in your game, you can opt to only view Tributes’ choices for weapons or only your own crazy designs. There’s plenty to keep you busy, but I was happy to replay the campaign which is very entertaining.

I Want to Be a Paladin

If Panzer Paladin was an episode of Voltron, I would re-watch it every week. Since it’s not, I’ll just settle for keeping this additive retro-inspired title on a regular gaming cycle. Panzer Paladin has won me over with its soundtrack, its sci-fi demons design, and general retro quirkiness. It’s the sort of game that makes me want to be a paladin every single time!

Final Verdict: Two Thumbs up!